


Began With a Yes

by PockySquirrel



Category: Kamen Rider Kuuga
Genre: Asexuality Spectrum, Enthusiastic Consent, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-19 18:41:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20214445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PockySquirrel/pseuds/PockySquirrel
Summary: The first time Godai looked at him and asked, "I'd really like to kiss you, would that be okay?" Ichijou surprised himself by saying yes.





	Began With a Yes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [estelraca](https://archiveofourown.org/users/estelraca/gifts).

> Was prompted with "ace/demi Ichijou who is trying to Figure This Out", which, all of the yes. The world needs more ace-spectrum Ichijou content, so thank you for giving me an excuse to write it.

The first time Godai looked at him and asked, "I'd really like to kiss you, would that be okay?" Ichijou surprised himself by saying yes.

Kissing wasn't something Ichijou really did. Hadn't in a long time. Not for a lack of opportunity, but because he didn't miss it. Despite all the well-meaning ribbing from his colleagues about when he would finally find a girlfriend, dating - and everything that went along with it - was something Ichijou felt he could easily do without. 

But he said yes to Godai, a man he barely knew and who was already unlike anyone he had ever met. He surprised himself by saying yes, and surprised himself even more by liking it. Godai's lips were warm and just a little chapped. He tasted like coffee. His fingers were gentle as they combed through Ichijou's hair, scratching at his scalp in a way that sent pleasant shivers down his spine.

Ichijou stood still and didn't know what to do with his hands, but the smile on Godai's face when he finally pulled away still made him feel like he had done something worthwhile. 

***

Ichijou heard the same question from Godai countless times over the months that followed. Even after it was clear to both of them that the kisses were something Ichijou liked, he'd still take the time to ask. And if there was something else he wanted, he'd ask for that as well. If he wanted to touch Ichijou, or if he wanted Ichijou to touch him. Sometimes the answer was yes, and sometimes it wasn't. Either way, Godai always took the answer in stride, never questioned or pressured him. It was something Ichijou deeply appreciated about him, even if he couldn't quite shake the awareness of how unusual it was.

He felt compelled to apologize once, for saying no to Godai. For stopping where every love scene in every movie he'd ever seen would have kept going. Godai had sat back on his heels and frowned at him, and Ichijou focused on the rise and fall of his bare chest so he wouldn't have to look him in the eye.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Godai said. "It's you I want, exactly how you are. I don't want you to change or force yourself to do things you don't want to do for my sake."

It had never consciously occurred to Ichijou that Godai might be dissatisfied with him, might consider leaving him for someone whose answer would always be yes. But it still felt like a weight lifted off his shoulders to hear him say it. 

Godai asked if he could stay the night anyway, sleep in Ichijou's bed with him and hold him. Ichijou said yes with no hesitation.

***

When Godai left, there was a part of Ichijou that thought his life would just go back to normal. It was over now, wasn't it? Not just the fight against the Unidentified Lifeforms, but whatever unnamed thing he and Godai had shared. Ichijou had never needed romantic companionship before, so why should he need it now? And Godai was gone, vanished as easily as he had arrived, back to his own normalcy and hopefully at peace in it.

Ichijou hadn't counted on missing him.

His awareness of Godai's absence was constant, and he ached with it. Being reminded of him, of his quirks and his stories and the astonishing number of things he knew how to do, that at least he could share with Godai's other friends and commiserate with them about it. But the times he woke up with his arm outstretched, reaching across the bed to wrap around a body that wasn't there, those he suffered alone. 

He was lonely, and frustrated with himself for feeling it. There was no need. If he had been content to be alone before, he should be now, shouldn't he? Had being with Godai changed him so much that he now craved things he never wanted or thought he'd need? He tested that theory once, relented to Tsubaki's pestering and gone out on a blind date. They'd kissed goodnight at the end of it, and it felt like nothing. Just like it always did before, just like it did with everyone but Godai. But a kiss was just a kiss, wasn't it? What the hell made Godai so different that he was irreplaceable? 

He still didn't have an answer to that question when Godai finally came back. He didn't tell anyone he was coming, just climbed up the balcony to Ichijou's apartment and let himself in. Ichijou came home from work to find him puttering around in his kitchen as if no time had passed at all. There had been a thousand things Ichijou had wanted to say to him then, but they all fled his mind in an instant.

Instead, he threw his arms around Godai and kissed him, without asking.


End file.
